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The 12 Days of Broadway

Category Broadway

|by Mark Robinson |

We’re counting down to Christmas with the help of our favorite shows

The holiday season is upon us, and Broadway is no exception. Since Christmas is a mere 12 days away, here is a little holiday humor, a tongue-in-cheek celebration of the wonders of Broadway set to the tune of a holiday classic.

The cast of ‘Chicago’ (Photo: Jeremy Daniel)

The cast of ‘Chicago’ (Photo: Jeremy Daniel)

On the first day of Broadway my true love gave to me: A cell phone from Patti LuPone
This might be a sore subject, but 2018 has been an ongoing reminder to turn off your cell phone when watching a live theater show. So, what could be more ironic than to receive a cell phone from the great Patti LuPone, the driving voice for silencing your electronic devices? Just be sure to do as she says, or you might end up with a very limited plan.

On the second day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Two Wicked Witches
We all love a two-for-one deal when we are holiday shopping. The long-running Broadway musical Wicked offers two witches for one ticket price. Whether you are an Elphaba or a Glinda at heart, Wicked has magic for everyone. Besides, shopping can be a real…witch.

On the third day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Three Chers and Donnas
Three seems to be the magic number when telling the story of great pop divas of the 1970s on Broadway. In both The Cher Show and SUMMER: The Donna Summer Musical, the titular ladies are depicted with, not one, not two, but three talented actresses singing and dancing with sizzling ferocity.

On the fourth day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Four Desperate Actors
The new Broadway musical The Prom involves four down-on-their-luck actors who must do something to reinvigorate their fading careers. Considering how funny this quartet is (Beth Leavel, Brooks Ashmanskas, Christopher Sieber and Angie Schworer), four desperate actors may be just what puts the “Ho-Ho-Ho” in your holidays.

On the fifth day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Five King Kong Swings
This installment of the “12 Days” came out of wondering what happens if five of the puppeteers who operate the title character in King Kong get trapped on a stalled C Train? Are there enough trained swings and understudies in the cast to step-in and keep the big guy moving? Five King Kong swings could help handle this gorilla-sized job.

On the sixth day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Six Merry Killers
The six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail and their rendition of “The Cell Block Tango” are one of the comedic highlights of Broadway’s longest-running revival Chicago. Sure, these ladies may be incarcerated for offing the men in their lives, but they make a festive half-dozen to carve the Christmas goose. Besides…It had it coming.

On the seventh day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Seven Kid Musicians
In the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical School of Rock, seven children with musical instrument-playing talent are assembled into a rock band, so they make our perfect fit for the seventh day of Broadway. Sure, there are also some amazing vocalists, and a manager added to their ranks, but at their core, it’s the guitar players, drummer and keyboardist that give us our lucky seven. 

On the eighth day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Eight Frozen Snowballs
What is Christmastime without a white Christmas, and that time-honored tradition of smacking a loved one in the head with a snowball? One musical can provide us with the tools for that loving exchange, and that is the Disney stage adaptation of Frozen. So, eight Frozen Snowballs is the Broadway gift on the eighth day…just don’t tell Olaf.

On the ninth day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Nine Boots-A-Kinky
You can make anyone’s holiday special with the perfect pair of footwear, and where better to find the right boots with copious amounts of flash than in the Broadway musical Kinky Boots? The holidays are all about sparkle, and nothing could be more merry and bright than nine high-heeled, thigh-high pairs courtesy of Price & Son.

On the tenth day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Ten Flying Carpets
The gift of travel is always a nice alternative to slipper socks in showing a loved-one you care, and who wouldn’t want to see the world via the flying carpet from Aladdin? Ten carpets might seem like a lot, but if you rub a lamp and find a genie inside, wish for a mansion with at least ten rooms. Then your rugs are can be both magical AND functional.

On the eleventh day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Eleven Music Lessons
The gift of learning is the gift that keeps on giving, so here is a thought: Why not provide a friend a music lesson…or eleven music lessons…with The Phantom of the Opera himself? Sure, you have to accompany him to the sewer for instruction, and he may not be all that keen on your leaving anytime soon, but just think how his tutelage and the sewer’s moist environment will perfect your rendition of “Jingle Bells”?

On the twelfth day of Broadway my true love gave to me: Twelve Months of Broadway
With 2019 just around the corner, we look forward to another 12 months of Broadway and all the magic and music it has to offer. From new shows on the slate like Ain’t Too Proud, Beetlejuice, Moulin Rouge and Tootsie, and a revival of the classic Kiss Me, Kate!, to continuing to enjoy such hits as Anastasia, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen and Waitress, there is nothing like a Broadway musical to make the New Year’s bright!

From all of us at, may everyone have a joyous holiday season, and may your 2019 be filled to the brim with unforgettable Broadway adventures.

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